Episode no. Season 1
Episode 2
Written by Sarah Watson
Directed by Michael Zinberg
Original airdate June 23, 2008
Episode chronology
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"The Pilot Episode Sanction" "The Sino-Mexican Revelation"
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At 3 a.m. Wendy gets a call from Lacey Thornfield, but not to say hello, rather that she is in jail and needs someone to go bail her out. After a mom-like lecture about how Lacey cannot mix confrontation art with breaking the law she heads off to work, trying to seperate personal and professional issues.

Soon after work begins an Earth Elemental Chinese Terracotta Warrior shows up to kidnap the heir to the Qin Dynasty and doom mankind to one thousand years of raining fire. Worried about Wendy's well-being, the Middleman gives her a lecture about maintaining focus. While doing so she notices he seems uncomfortable, and upon questioning, explains that his expertise lies in aliens, not in the supernatural. The Middleman employs the help of Roxy Wasserman, who apart from being a well known fashion artist (and a succubus) has dabbled in a little magic. Roxy begins to prepare a Vial of aquatic banishment, the only thing which can destroy the terracotta warrior, while they continue to stall him from whisking the heir away into the Underworld.

While preparing to head for China, Wendy is confronted by Lacey, and accidentally lets slip that she is working with Roxy, this infuriates Lacey who is opposed to Roxy's continuous use of animal fur. Lacey goes to confront Roxy about it, but instead winds up with a job. While plotting to throw fake blood on Roxy's fur, Lacey gets caught up in all of her errands for her. However, Lacey fails to get the Tahiti Water that Roxy needs for her vial of aquatic banishment, and instead gives her tap water.

Through the HEYDAR the Middleman and Wendy discover that the heir to the Qin dynasty lives here instead of in China, and is a boy named Duncan who is not the slightest bit Asian. The Middleman and Wendy rescue the boy from his school just before he is captured by the terracotta warrior, and back at his home, they find Lacey with the vial. The Middleman thanks Lacey and sends her on her way. The warrior shows up again and the Middleman uses the vial on him, which fails due to its missing ingredient. The Middleman and Wendy are knocked out and the warrior escapes with Duncan.

Roxy assists them it getting a new vial and the pair defeat the warrior in the Underworld. Afterward, Wendy and Lacey have a talk about their fight and Lacey decides to convince Roxy to give her furs to the homeless instead of ruining them.

Characters and LocationsEdit

Pop Culture ReferencesEdit

"Occidental" is a geographical term referring to the Western Hemisphere of the world. It's the opposite of "Oriental". Therefore, the accidental occidental conception is the birth of Duncan, a western boy who is a descendant of a Chinese dynasty.

General Pop Culture Reference Theme: "Dune"

Dune References Edit

  • Frank Herbert Junior High School references Frank Herbert, the author of Dune.
  • Duncan is the name of the main character's swordmaster in Dune (Duncan Idaho).
  • Duncan lives at 1965 Caladan Lane. Caladan is the home planet of the Atreides family in Dune, and 1965 was the year it was first published.
  • Middleman uses the aliases "Kynes and Rabban" when investigating the mudslide at the restaurant. Kynes is a scientist in Dune, while Beast Rabban is a second-tier villain.
  • Roxy tells her assistant, as one scene starts, to send "50 Daffodils to Shaddam at the House of Corrino", a reference to the universal emperor of Dune, Shaddam Corrino IV.
  • The mother of Duncan, the boy who is kidnapped, is Jessica, also the name of the mother of the main character of Dune.

General References Edit

  • Wendy: "So the Devil actually does wear Prada." References the 2003 book and 2006 movie with Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep The Devil Wears Prada. Roxy is very reminiscent of Meryl Streep's character in the film, both in look and attitude.
  • Wendy: "So he's like the Magneto of Mud?" References Magneto, the X-Men's primary enemy, who can control all magnetism and hence all metal.
  • Ida: "Hey - anybody want to get to work here? 'Cause we got Hot Donuts Now!". References the lighted sign at Krispy Kreme donut stores informing customers when they have hot, fresh donuts ("Hot Donuts Now!").
  • Roxy: "They look like the Addicted To Love girls!", while panning a photo shoot. References a classic music video by Robert Palmer in the 1980's. The women being photographed do actually bear an uncanny resemblance to the girls in that music video.
  • Roxy: "You're like Karl Lagerfeld with breasts." Complimenting Lacey. Kalr Lagerfeld is a well-known German fashion designer.
  • Roxy: (firing her former assistant): "Betty! You're fired!" An apparent reference to the TV show "Ugly Betty", where Betty is a woman who works as an assistant to a high-end fashion magazine editor.
  • Wendy: (as the warrior reforms from his melted mud): "There are way too many copies of Terminator out there." Refers to the movie Terminator 2, where the main villain is a robot which can reform from melted metal blobs.
  • Middleman: "Elemental, my dear Watson." A reference to Sherlock Holmes, who said on numerous occasions "Elementary, my dear Watson". Note that Wendy's name is Watson, and that they are fighting an Earth Elemental.
  • Duncan: "... if this guy hadn't gone all T2 on his ass!" refers to Terminator 2.
  • Middleman: "All I could think about was that haunting Bryan Adams song." "But instead, I'm whistling that stupid song from Robin Hood." Refers to the Byran Adams soft rock hit "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)", from the soundtrack to the movie "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".
  • Middleman: "Watson, I need you!" (yelled as he runs in the Underworld): refers to the famous phrase used by Alexander Graham Bell to test his telephone. He used those exact words to call to his assistant, Watson, in another room.

Common Middleman Jokes Edit

Interjections Edit

  • "Katie Bar The Door!"
An American colloquialism meaning "prepare for trouble!"
  • "Grapes of Wrath!"
Refers to John Steinbeck's classic novel of farming and the Dust Bowl
  • "Gobsmack it!"
Used solely for it's similar-sounding epithet, gobsmacked is an adjective meaning stunned.
  • "Hands Across America!"
Refers to a 1980's benefit stunt held nationwide, where people were asked to try to form a single unbroken human chain from coast to coast.
  • "Sands of Zanzibar!"
Zanzibar is a small island off the coast of Tanzania, on the eastern coast of Africa. It has famously white sands on its beaches.
  • "Guns of Navarone!"
Refers to the classic war movie "The Guns Of Navarone", from 1961.

Aliases Edit

  • (at the Chinese restauarant) Dr. Kynes (Middleman) and Dr. Rabban, of the Ecological Task Force

Noser Knows Edit

Whiter Shade of Pale Edit

  • Noser: Yo, Wendy Watson!
  • Wendy: Hey, Noser.
  • Noser: So whaddya gonna do with the Light Fandango?
  • Wendy: Not gonna let it distract me from saving the world.
  • Noser: Wanna do cartwheels across the floor?
  • Wendy: Nope. I'm a guided missile of purpose.
  • Noser: That truth is plain to see.

Wendy is not participating, but Noser is quoting the classic song "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procul Harum:

Ida Is Edit

Wendy calls Ida:

  • "3PO" (reference: C-3PO the android from Star Wars)

Acronyms Edit

  • CHAD: Chinese Historical Art Database
  • STORC: Sperm Tracking Operations and Reconaissance Commander
  • WWWWD: What Would Wendy Watson Do? A reference to the WWJD movement (What Would Jesus Do?)

Time And Place (References in the place/time lines) Edit

  • When they first go to the "Terracotta Warrior Tea House and Dim Sum Restaurant", the establishing shot clearly shows a Chinese restaurant whose name actually ends in "Garden".
  • When Wendy returns to her apartment after finding out they need to go to China to stop the Chinese warrior, the listed time is 11:20PM Taipei Standard Time.
  • When Wendy is at Middleman HQ preparing to go to China, the listed time is 12:19AM Beijing Time.
  • When they arrive at the Junior High, the time is "12 minutes into Fourth Period Physical Education"
  • When they arrive in the Underworld, the line says "Time has no meaning or relevance."

Wilhelm ScreamEdit

  • When the Middleman shoots the elemental on the school playground.


  • The background scenery in the Middlemobile when the Middleman and Wendy are driving to see Roxy Wasserman after Duncan has been captured was recorded on the Whitehurst Freeway in Washington, D.C.. The buildings seen in the distance are actually located in Rosslyn, Virginia.


  • "Sideways" by The Chaos in Order
  • "Maybe" by The Submarines


The Middleman: Caffeine is a drug, Dubbie.
Wendy: I'm holding a molecular stun cannon.

Roxy Wasserman: (about the Terracotta warrior) A spirit that draws its power from the living earth. It can manipulate or control anything made of earth, hence your mudslide inside a restaurant.
Wendy: So he's like the Magneto of Mud?
The Middleman: (annoyed) Grapes of Wrath, Dubbie, do you have any idea how much of the Earth is made up!

(after it has been revealed that Duncan's mother conceived him out of wedlock)
The Middleman: (to Duncan's father) Now that we've settled the boy's lineage, let's move on to more pressing matters.
Wendy: Uh, the Boy Scouts called, they want their family counseling merit badge back.
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