- "Sounds to me like someone wants another trip down Pain's River."
- "No no! No! No, no, anything but that!"
Pain's River is a two-person martial arts technique taught by Sensei Ping which uses primarily knees and knuckles to overcome any foe. The technique is renowned for causing excruciating pain to its victims; Wendy Watson and the Middleman used it to overwhelm four shotgun-wielding men in less than forty-seven seconds. Partners may choose who gets "top" and "bottom", so presumably one partner attacks high while the other strikes low.
Wendy stated that Sensei Ping said that he had never met a man who could lie in the face of Pain's River. The only known exception is Mr. White, who, due to the bite of a Peruvian Flying Pike in his spinal cord, was rendered impervious to pain. ("The Flying Fish Zombification")